God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
