I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
He kissed a someone with a penis
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
