I hate your face
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
