She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
