I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
But break dance skills will only take you so far
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
