i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
