Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
