Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
