Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
