oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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