I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
