Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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