We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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