you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Even my vagina gasped.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
