So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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