i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize