one might say we're banned from that church
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
