I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Boobs speak an international language.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
