Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
