So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
