is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I am available for nakedness
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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