I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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