dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
