well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
you never un-have a 4some
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
