I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
