you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Randomize
