Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
