We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
