Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
the raccoons are back...
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