No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.