I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
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Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
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I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important