I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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