dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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