Having a random hookup so left but love u
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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