i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize