I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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