You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
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