I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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