I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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