if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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