I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
