Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
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