My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
