id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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