he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
