DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
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I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
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My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Dick very happy bro
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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