Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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