yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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