the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
