i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
