When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize