she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
