your parents love me but you hate me
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize