hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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