Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
