I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
