He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
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