I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize